The importance of healthy relationships
When two people share responsibility for a child, no matter whether they are still together or separated, the relationship between them has a direct impact on the emotional wellbeing and mental health of their child.
- Exhibit optimistic and confident social behaviours
- Achieve better social and academic skills
- Gain strong problem-solving skills
- Grow up with secure and healthy attachments
- Strengthen their mental, linguistic and emotional development
- Develop happy and content relationships with others
- Learn to regulate emotions under stress and in difficult situations
In a survey by The Children’s Society, 70% of children said that parents getting on well is one of the most important factors in their happiness. Evidence clearly shows that children who are exposed to parental conflict can suffer long-term harm which affects their:
- emotional and social development
- mental health
- educational attainment
- employability
- future relationships
Not all conflict is damaging. But where this conflict is frequent, intense and poorly resolved it can harm a child’s emotional wellbeing, causing unhappiness and potentially harming their life outcomes.
Identifying conflict in parental relationships
Do you recognise any of these things?
- Are you arguing, having rows, shouting all the time with each other about things like money, how you parent or housework?
- Are you worried about splitting up?
- Are you not able to say sorry after an argument and move on?
- Are you anxious or worried and is this getting in the way of managing everyday life?
- Is there sulking, silent treatment, slamming doors or walking away from each other?
- Are you using hurtful texts, emails or social media against each other?
Are you moaning about your partner to your child?
Stop
Is a disagreement escalating to a point where you are no longer in control and you are just reacting? If so, pause. Take a step back. Take a breath. When you’re feeling calmer it is easier to change your behaviour.
Think
Try to reflect on why an argument started. Ask yourself how you were feeling before the conversation started and whether you were already feeling anxious or tense.
Change
Take a step back. Is this argument about something important or can you come back to it when you are both calmer and you can change your behaviour?
Dig deeper
Bromley Intimate Relationship Spectrum
This assists our families and our practitioners in differentiating whether families are experiencing parental conflict or domestic abuse.
See it Differently
Made in partnership with families around the UK, these videos reflect common daily situations and offer up a different way of doing things to reduce the impact of arguments on children.