Stop, Think, Change
This guide is designed around our three-step healthy relationships model:
Step 1
Stop
This step is designed to help you to take a moment to stop and think about how healthy your relationship is.
We have a set of three short quizzes:
Action 1 – Complete the child’s quiz
The child’s viewpoint
We would recommend that all parents should start with this quiz to help you understand how the child feels.
Action 2 – Complete the relevant parental viewpoint quiz
Parents (together)
Choose this quiz if you are are still in a relationship, including if you are considering separating.
Parents (separated)
This quiz should be completed by parents who have separated and can be completed by one or both parents.
Step 2
Think
Use the results from the quiz to think about your strengths and what needs to change.
Use the results from Step 1 (Stop) to identify which ones are the most relevant to you:
Action 3 – Use our self-help guides
We have developed a set of 10 Relationship Thought Prompts (RTP) to help you think about the simple actions that you can take to continue to make your relationship healthy.
Theme - Impact on your child
- Keeping the child at the heart
- The relationship journey
- Relational journey: parental relationship impact mapping
- The importance of talking
- The importance of listening
- Keeping the positivity
- Building the emotional intimacy
- Keeping arguments healthy
- Is it parental conflict or an unhealthy relationship?
- Taking the conflict out of the argument
Theme - Your relationship
Theme - Impact on your child
Theme - Connecting with your partner
Theme - Conflict and arguments
Action 4 – Activities that can help
We have a library of tools and advice that can help you think through any issues that you have identified and then identify the solutions.
Theme - Impact on your child
- The impact on your child
- Your family values
- Positive and negative acts: constructive or destructive behaviours
- The break down: The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
- Weighing the baggage
- Inside of you: Your thoughts, feelings and behaviours
- The behavioural iceberg
- The five types of communication
- Moving forward
Theme - Family relationships
Theme - Behaviours on show
Theme - Communicating together
Theme - Action planning
- The impact on your child
- Your family values
- Positive and negative acts: constructive or destructive behaviours
- The break down: The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
- Weighing the baggage
- Inside of you: Your thoughts, feelings and behaviours
- The behavioural iceberg
- The five types of communication
- Moving forward
Theme - Breaking up
Step 3
Change
As you have journeyed through this guide, you will have learnt lots about yourself, your partner or ex-partner, your family and, most importantly, your child’s thoughts.
These build on your learning from Step 1 (Stop) and Step 2 (Think):
Choose the right ideas for you, what you need and your lifestyle:
Directory of services
Parenting course
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