Step 1
Stop
Take a moment to stop and think about how healthy your relationship is.
To help you do this, we have a set of three short quizzes. We would recommend that all parents should start with the same quiz – the child’s viewpoint.
→ The amount of conflict in you relationship
→ How the conflict is affecting your child
Action 1 – The child’s viewpoint
In every family there are times when parents don’t get along. This is natural. But we also know that some parents argue more often or with more aggression.
Below are some things that children sometimes think or feel when their parents have arguments or disagreements.
We would like you to think about how you feel when your parents argue or disagree. There are no right or wrong answers. You should just pick the answer which is best for you.
If you can answer all the questions, that’s great. But please do not worry if there are some questions that you can’t or find difficult answer. Just answer the questions that you can.
Who this quiz is for
This quiz is for any child to complete.
It is aimed at children aged over 8; however, the questions can be tailored towards children aged under 8.
The purpose of this quiz is to help you understand how the child feels. By combining what you learn through this quiz together with the parental quiz, you’ll be able to support the child with the most appropriate action.
How to use this quiz
The child should be asked to complete the quiz by themselves.
You need to support your child as they complete this quiz.
It is important to make sure that the child does not feel pressured to respond to any particular question with any particular answer. This needs to be their honest opinion.
Please avoid the temptation:
- to answer for them
- to influence their response
- to correct or change
You just need to listen to them.
Tips
- Find a period of uninterrupted time and space.
- Make sure your child is happy to do it – you must not force them.
- Talk your child through the form -reassure them that they should answer honestly.
- Give your child space to answer the quiz.
- Talk to your child about their answers.
- Combine their responses with your parental quiz.
Download the quiz
[PDF, 10 pages]
Action 2 – The parent’s viewpoint
Then you can move onto the relationship quiz – there is one quiz for parents who are still together or who are considering separating and a quiz for those who are separated.
Ideally both parents should complete the questionnaire, but it can still be useful if just one parent does.
Answer the relevant quiz for your relationship status:
Quiz 2
Parents who are together or are considering separating
Go to quiz →
Quiz 3
Parents who are separated
Go to quiz →
Quiz 2 – Parents together
For parents who are currently in a relationship or are considering separating
These are natural.
But we also know that some parents argue more often or with more aggression. And this has a direct negative impact on the children in the household or relationship.
Who this quiz is for
This quiz is for parents who are still in a relationship, including those who are considering separation. There is a separate quiz for parents who have separated.
Please answer all questions to the best of your ability, even if they do not seem entirely relevant to you.
Your responses will help you to identify relevant support for you and your partner, or to anonymously measure the effectiveness of the relationship course you are attending.
To help you get the most out of the quiz and the wider support available, please answer honestly and openly.
How to use this quiz
This quiz should be completed by parents who are still together in a relationship.
Each parent should complete this quiz on their own.
Once they have done so, you should talk through your individual answers and viewpoints.
It is important to make sure that you (or the other parent) do not feel pressured to respond to any particular question with any particular answer. This needs to be their honest opinion.
Please avoid the temptation:
- to answer for them
- to influence their response
- to correct or change
You just need to listen to them.
Tips
- Find a period of uninterrupted time and space.
- Make sure you are happy to do it – you must not feed forced or made to complete the quiz.
- Give yourself space to answer the quiz.
- Share your answers with your partner.
Download the quiz
[PDF, 10 pages]
Quiz 3 – Parents together
For parents who have separated
When parents separate, there are times when the stresses of co-parenting cause arguments and conflict in the relationship.
This is natural.
But we also know that sometimes parents who have separated argue more often or with more aggression. And this has a direct negative impact on the children in the relationship.
Who this quiz is for
This quiz is for parents who have separated. There is a separate quiz for parents who are still in a relationship, including those who are considering separation.
Please answer all questions to the best of your ability, even if they do not seem entirely relevant to you.
Your responses will help you to identify relevant support for you and your partner, or to anonymously measure the effectiveness of the relationship course you are attending.
To help you get the most out of the quiz and the wider support available, please answer honestly and openly.
How to use this quiz
This quiz should be completed by parents who have separated.
It can be completed by one parent or both parents.
It is important to make sure that you do not feel pressured to respond to any particular question with any particular answer. This needs to be your honest opinion.
If your ex-partner agrees to complete the quiz, please avoid the temptation:
- to answer for them
- to influence their response
- to correct or change
If you both complete the survey, you should share your results. This, along with the responses from your child’s quiz, will give you a holistic overview of the experience of your child.
Tips
- Find a period of uninterrupted time and space.
- Make sure you are happy to do it – you must not feed forced or made to complete the quiz.
- Give yourself space to answer the quiz.
Download the quiz
[PDF, 11 pages]
Next steps
