RPC activity 06

Inside of you

Your thoughts, feelings and behaviours

This activity will help you to think about how your thoughts, feelings and behaviours influence your relationship.

It will help you to recognise how you internalise behaviour which in turn affects how you feel, act and respond as an individual and as a partnership. It is built on an understanding that behaviours are shaped by your own thoughts and feelings, and that these can become a cycle, whether positive or negative.

How to use this tool

1. Identify an example from your own life and note down the key points in the four boxes.

2. Share your responses with your partner – and ask them to share their responses with you.

3. Look at the areas where you agree and the areas where you disagree.

4. Use this knowledge to consider what actions you need to take – both individually and jointly.

Your thoughts, feelings and behaviours form a loop

When your thoughts are negative, you feel negative, and you take negative action, which causes more negative thoughts, and the cycle continues.

This loop becomes a repetitive and increasingly negative cycle.

Here’s an example:

What people see

When you ignore me when you’re watching TV

What you think

I think this means you don’t want to be around me

What you feel

This makes me feel unloved

What people do

I slam the doors to let you know I am unhappy

Download the activity

We have made this activity available to download as a PDF.

[PDF, 4 pages]

Skip to content